Judgmental House Hunting

One of my favourite Facebook pages is Terrible Real Estate Agent Photographs. The photos are amazing, but the captions….they just make it. It’s glorious.

Now that we are house hunting, I have not only been searching for our dream home (which is important), but for terrible real estate photos of houses in our area (obviously more important). Have I found some as bad as those on the Terrible Real Estate Photos page? No. But have I got incredibly witty captions for the ones I have to make up for this? Also no.

Terrible real estate photo

Long before I ever owned property, I liked the idea of having a colour scheme of magenta and orange for a bathroom. So bright and cheerful. Fortunately I grew up and realized that many things I had thought were lovely when I was young were actually terrible.

I don’t think the person who designed this and selected the colour scheme came to that same realization.

Look closer at this picture. Closer.

Is that a mattress on the roof of the carport? I mean, maybe it could be something else, but it sure looks like a mattress to me. Has anything terrible happened on that rooftop mattress?


I can only imagine that wallpaper which reminds me that much of one of those Magic Eye books is going to give me a headache. What a shame I didn’t get the chance to see if a picture pops up if you stare at it long enough.

I am over looking for a house. By Monday, following a building inspection that day, we should know if we will be going through with a purchase of a house we have been checking out. Assuming we don’t find out it is held together only with termite shit, of course.


I need a new name for my blog. and I don’t have a imagination to come up with a new one. Help me to do so!


  1. Dale

    You terrible human. So judgemental! At least, that is what I would of said if I had not been in agreement with each of your observations.

  2. Did anything happen on that rooftop mattress? Because it doesn’t matter what happened there. It was terrible.
    Also “Rooftop Mattress” would be a good name for a blog. Or a grunge band.
    Yeah, better for a grunge band.

  3. That’s not a mattress, that’s an elevated trampoline. Don’t let the lack of any type of safety rail fool you. That’s what it is.

    My creative juices aren’t flowing all that swift right now so I can’t come up with a new name for you…..yet.

  4. All I can focus on is the rooftop mattress because all I can think is that anything, no matter what, that happened on that mattress must have been terrible. Anyone walking by would get an eyefull of whatever was going on and anyone flying over would get an even more disturbing view.
    Admittedly, though, “Rooftop Mattress” would be a pretty good name for a blog or a grunge band.
    On second thought it would only be a good name for a grunge band.

  5. I’ve been gone for a while but now I’m back. That means you have to come back. It’s an internet law or something. I’m still working on your new blog name but I think it will have something to do with Bloomin’ Onions or letting Australian ostriches do something. You may not remember but those topics have meaning. I definitely think Chris is on to something with the “Rooftop Mattress” though. Maybe we could fit it in to your tagline? Hmmm, something is coming to me…

    Mrs. Fancy Pants and Aussie Ostriches do….something.
    “She’s more (thankfully) inappropriate than what occurs on a rooftop mattress.”

    OK, may need some more polishing but we are headed in the right direction. Now get your Aussie ass back in the blogosphere!

    • I will, work has just been kicking my arse! Blogging was heaps easier when my only responsibility was keeping my kids alive. Just throw em some food and give them a wash every now and then. I’ll be more free at the end of this month and i do want to get back into it.

      • Cool beans! Do they say that down under? Hell, they hardly say it here anymore. I’m a walking anachronism. We’ll get you a proper rename on the blog and then maybe you can help me get Halfa posting again. She’s a tough nut to crack.

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