Safari of Terror

The US is fairly lax with some laws, at least compared to Australia, and I’ve been wondering if that is why there are quite a few of these “safari” tourist spots here, where you can drive around on a circuit and feed exotic animals from your car. Maybe there are fewer laws and regulations that would prevent it from being possible or even worthwhile. My family and I got to visit one not far outside of Knoxville called Circle G Ranch, and sounded like it would be adorable. Feeding cute animals!

Image of long horn bull sticking out tongue at safari ranch

image of long horn bull at safari ranch

“FEED ME!!!!”

Image of bull at car window at safari ranch

Image of bull at car window at safari ranch

“FEED ME OR ELSE!!!”

Image of zebra poking head through car window at safari ranch

“WHERE’S THE FOOD!? I KNOW YOU HAVE IT!!!!”

Image of deer at car window at safari ranch

What is its mouth even doing?!!!

Image of pigs and deer at safari ranch

I won’t lie, there was some cuteness included in the safari experience along with all that terror. But you know, it was around 97% terror.

My family first visited the safari quite shortly after moving to the USA, and visited again just recently, almost exactly a year later. It had changed. We couldn’t see any of the big horn cattle who had previously mugged us of our feed and scared us the most. The most intimidating creatures we met were a ridiculously stalkerish horse….

Image of a horse slobbering on car windscreen at safari ranch

“Oh hey, your window is dirty! Here, let me polish it with spit and snot for you!”

….and a few persistent Llamas.

Image of a llama sticking its head through a car window at safari ranch

“Here’s the food. Please don’t hurt me.”

Why the change? The guy who seemed to be running the place said that some of the animals were keeping their distance because they were very pregnant, and would soon be social again once their babies were out and about. The reason the big horn cattle were gone, however, was apparently due to new regulations had been brought in, which meant they weren’t able to have them as part of the safari experience for safety reasons any more. And I can see why. They’re monsters! But….

I kind of missed being terrorized. It was exciting.


(My site contains some affiliate links and ads, from which I can earn commission. So far it is making me an Centenaire, but I dream of someday being – a Dollaraire! Feel free to buy through my links to help me reach this lofty goal).

I am an Aussie currently enjoying my time as a non-resident legal alien in the US. You can find me on Facebook and I have also just started lurking around Twitter and  Instagram. Come lurk with me!

 

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

6 Comments

  1. OMG This is too funny! I’ve always wondered about these places, but I’ve never had the guts to actually go to one. That stalker horse was definitely my favorite!

  2. Oh wow, that actually looks scary!! I did a Safari tour in Mexico a few years ago, but only monkeys and a few other animals actually came so close to the car. These look like they wanted to drive home with you! Hahah 🙂

Leave a Reply to Mrs Fancy-Pants Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *