Every now and then a round-up of the type of crazy parenting product parents actually spend money on ends up on my newsfeed, and it can be worth clicking through for a bit of mild amusement. Some keep popping up on different lists, perhaps emphasizing what a strikingly dumb product they really are. While we can all (well, all except for what I can only imagine is a small number buying them) agree that most of them really are the worst (baby toupee? WTF?! Cry Analyzer? Is that even possible?!), I’ve occasionally seen an entrant or 2 in the list which…..actually seems like something I want. Unless you think they are stupid, in which case, I didn’t really want them, I’m just kidding. Kidding, I tell you! I too think it’s a crazy parenting product, honest!
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The Lightahead Shower Cap
Remember watching Robocop? I watched it around age 10 from memory (hey stellar parenting, mum & dad!), and though I remember very little of the plot, I certainly remember the dude that died very dramatically in acid.
Whenever I had to pour water over my either of my kids’ heads – whether to wash off tear-free shampoo or even just rinse their hair with plain ol’ water – they acted like Acid Dude. Dammit it can’t be that torturous!
They are mostly over it now, but knowing about the existence of the Lightahead Shower Cap might have been handy:
It’s a rather silly (ok, very silly) looking shower and bath cap for babies and kids up to 6 years (which is obviously adjustable as their heads become not so little, however reviews state that the “0-6” might be a bit of a stretch unless your 6 year old’s head is abnormally tiny).
Pros: Your child is less likely to act as if you have poured pure acid onto their head when you’re just trying to wash their damn hair.
Cons: Your kid’s head looks like a flower while he/she is wearing it. I know it’s only for the duration of the shower or bath, but still. Have you no pride?! There are some other products such as the Skip Hop Baby Infant and Toddler Moby Tear-Free Waterfall Bath Rinser Cup and the Lil Rinser Splashguard which, while slightly more expensive (and only very slightly), achieve the same outcome without looking as silly (and seem to have better reviews, which I guess is a bit more important. Not heaps more, but).
The Zaky is designed to simulate parental physical touch, including their scent (you just lay it on your chest for a while), so baby won’t feel abandoned while they are not with them.
It also looks freaky as hell.
Most of the especially positive reviews seem to be from the parents of preemies, and lots of the product photos feature preemies as well, especially in a hospital environment where they often can’t be held as much as they’d like to be by their parents.
Pros: Assuming they can be fooled, you can actually leave your baby for more than 2 seconds without them freaking out that you’ve left them forever! And it seems to be of benefit to preemies especially, and anything that makes their recovery easier on them and their parents can only be a good thing.
Cons: Dude. It looks freaky as. Like something from a B grade horror movie. You’re leaving that on your baby. What have you become?!
Haha, the name “The Babykeeper“ makes it sound like a place you would store your baby! Good thing the picture shows that it’s just a regular carrier!
The Babykeeper is a baby carrier that allows you to…..hang your baby up conveniently. While the pics look hilarious, this can be a problem when you are out and about with baby, need to go to the restroom, and don’t have your stroller with you. Sure, there are sometimes those types of seats you can sit baby in securely in parent rooms, but I don’t see them that often.
Another feature of this crazy parenting product is that it can also be used to better secure your baby in their shopping cart seat. Because babies are always trying to find ways to injure themselves, and climbing out of the shopping cart and falling is as good a way as any other. They’re always looking out for ways to make us look like negligent carers.
Pros: Peace of mind while visiting the restroom, fitting room etc. Added safety feature to prevent baby from falling from shopping cart.
Cons: You just hung your baby up like a painting. Shopping cart covers for the child seat such as this one often include a better seat belt as part of their design than you get when you use the seat without a cover, and are quite a bit cheaper, if that is the main feature you are looking at.
Yeah, each of these products look pretty weird, but they address real problems, so….maybe not always a crazy parenting product, after all. At least, not completely.
I am an Aussie currently enjoying my time as a non-resident legal alien in the US. You can find me on Facebook and I have also just started lurking around Twitter and Instagram. Come lurk with me!
Ha! The Robocop acid dude was actually in the title of my very first blog post! Love it, GMTA!
I would have been totally down with the baby keeper when my kids were that age. I would have been hanging those little rug rats everywhere!
Clearly I wasn’t the only one mesmerized by Acid Dude!
Omg, I would of totally tried out the shower cap if I knew about it at the time. The hysteria we had to put up with everytime they got water on their face was painful.
Not sure about the hooks though. You would want to sure they were going to work as expected.
Yeah I’m kind of bummed to find out that such products exist now!
Here’s another pro of The Babykeeper: the baby in that picture looks thrilled to be hanging there. “Hey, check me out! I’m Superman!”
You’re preparing your child for a career in aviation.
I’m not kidding. That really is a special bonus.
The baby in the shopping cart, however….he looks pissed not to have the chance to throw himself out.
I’m going to have nightmares about the Zaky.
It will kill us all in our sleep!!!
If I had any babies to keep, I would DEFINITELY opt in for the babykeeper! Hang that kid up on the wall for a minute or five hours! HA!
“My muthah hung me on a hook once. ONCE.” —Joe Piscopo’s character in “Johnny Dangerously”
Sadly, they wouldn’t hang there quietly for very long. They’re soooo in considerate like that!
Well, then I am grateful to have as many babies to keep as I have f**ks to give (exactly ZERO).
No, seriously, don’t gimme no babies to keep. I’ma Great Auntie, but I get to give those babies back! 😉
I have never seen Robocop so I have no knowledge of the acid guy, but my son definitely reacted in that sort of fashion when washing his hair. Although, I would likely have also acted that way if I tried to put a hat on him. Losing all around for me.
I am not so sure about that baby hanging thing. I feel like someone is gonna call children’s services on you like right away.
I’ve never seen anyone using one, but someone out there must be buying them, right?