There are a heap of inspirational, you’re-not-alone-in-this type articles and quotes related to parenting, intended to make parents feel better when things are tough, when we feel alone and overwhelmed etc. And judging by how much they are shared around, they are probably having the desired effect on a big chunk of their intended audience.
They just don’t hit the spot for me, though. They don’t really do much for me when I feel like I’m doing a crap job or worried that I’ll be visiting my evil son in prison one day (it…isn’t looking good).
I need something else. Something not inspirational. Something more suitable for terrible people. People like me.
If you want to make me feel better……tell me about a shitty thing your kid has done lately.
Tell me about a seriously shifty parenting moment.
I want to know that you and your kids suck too. Shared suckiness.
I’d do that same for you.
Here, have some Schadenfreude!
See this cake?
It’s beautiful. It was an 6th birthday cake made by a friend of mine for her daughter. She’s not a cake-maker, which makes it all the more spesh, as it would have taken her more time than someone who does this stuff for a living. And it was for her daughter, so some love would have been poured into it as well.
The above photo was taken not long before my turd of a kid found a stick and poked a few holes in it the moment I was distracted.
Fortunately it wasn’t so badly damaged that the pics were completely ruined, birthday girl traumatized etc, but…..fuck.
Feel like you’ve maybe let your kids watch slightly too much TV lately? Been impatient and snappy with them, and not proud they’ve seen that side of you? Maybe gave them nuggets more than you should have this week?
Cheer up. At least you didn’t decide to play a random playlist of alternative music clips and have your small child see part of this:
There was much scrambling to switch it off, and some awkward questions.
I bet you feel better already! About your kids, about your parenting, even about your decision not to procreate if that applies to you!
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